5th Monologue

Before You Punch Me - by D. M. Larson

Play - Flowers in the Desert

Before you punch me there is something you should know.

This woman we're fighting over is no ordinary woman... You don't know how good you had it.

If I am going to die I want the world to know how great she is... Why do you want me to shut up? You afraid? You afraid I will say something that will hurt you?  You that sensitive? You gonna cry, Softy?

Then listen... Punch me all you want when I am done... Beat me to a pulp but let me say how I feel... For her.. Do this one kindness for her... She's worth it.

Do you know about serendipity?  Word too big for you?  I should stick to one or two syllables when speaking to you...

"Serendipity means a "happy accident" or "pleasant surprise"; a fortunate mistake. Specifically, the accident of finding something good while not specifically searching for it."

That's what our love was... A happy accident.  We didn't plan on this.

She is amazing ... She is so very good... She has made me happier than I thought was possible.  Before her, it was like I was living in black and white and suddenly she brought color to my world. 

And by some miracles she chose me.  I thought she was wonderful of course but I never thought in a million years she'd want me.  She was the princess to my pauper.  The batman to my robin.  The Picard to my Wesley Crusher.  She was so much better and I was so unworthy yet she wants me.  By some incredible stoke of luck, she wants me.  And her kisses will last me until death... Which might not be very far off. 

Yes, we're talking about the same woman, you idiot. 

(Takes off glasses)

And now you can punch me.

This is the post 1980, less than two minutes monologue for Arts Ed and my post 1950 monologue for Oxford School of Drama. I really like this monologue as I strongly feel like I could bring a lot of myself into it by using emotions that I've felt to bring it alive and bring my own interpretation of it. I feel that it is a major contrast in character to all my other monologues, as I can already see myself bringing some sassy-ness to the role, which in turn will show some versatility in my acting.